Breathe

Rarely are both fighters comfortable in a fight. Almost always, one is applying pressure and one is under pressure. If you are uncomfortable, you are losing. If I am uncomfortable, even for a few seconds, I make the necessary adjustments and get comfortable again. Once I’m comfortable, I’m your worst nightmare. I never knew exactly what an opponent was going to do, but I didn’t need to. Once the engagement began, my goal was to use pain and discomfort to force an error, and then checkmate my opponent with a clean submission. As a fighter, despite my progress, I still had homework to do. Now I wanted to use all of the tools I had available in a vale tudo fight. I would soon learn that the difference between a Jiu Jitsu match and a vale tudo fight was like the difference between kart racing and Formula One. (Location 913)

This fight exposed me to the most primal kind of fear that comes from within. My insecure state of mind came from the fear of losing. If you fear something that has not even happened, then quitting becomes a form of self-protection. Fear is not the enemy; it’s simply a self-protection mechanism that must be managed. (Location 1004)

When I woke up, I thanked God for life and then acknowledged that it was a perfect day to die because my life’s mission was complete. I was representing my art and my family in the ring. My opponent would have to knock me out or kill me to win, for I was never going to tap. This was not a sport to me; it was my sacred honor. (Location 1799)

My approach to fighting and life was always smart. Above all, it was about being comfortable and mentally in charge and leading my opponent where I wanted him to go. If you are uncomfortable, you are losing. Depending on how you struggle, I will capitalize. While I like the sniper’s motto, “One shot, one kill,” my situation is different from the sniper’s because I don’t have the luxury of distance. What I do is much more intimate than killing someone with a rifle from hundreds of yards away. (Location 1807)

was never sure how I was going to kill, but I was always sure that I could cause the kind of discomfort that causes panic. If I am mounted on you, you are going to feel uncomfortable immediately. If you are mounted on me, I will never let you relax enough to feel comfortable because you will be too busy trying to defend my upa (neck-bridge) and my elbow escape. I will make sure that you are unstable and reacting so that my actions will dictate the terms of the fight. (Location 1811)

Some people train and train but never get any better because they practice only what they’re good at against people they can beat. Because they never address their weaknesses, they stop growing, and the competition catches them. Those champions who say, “Fuck, I’m just going to keep doing what I do well,” eventually falter because natural talent can take you only so far. If you don’t understand yourself, how effective can you be at anything? (Location 1967)

I tried to remain strong, but the truth was that the grief was much more powerful than I was. I played the role of the unflappable stoic warrior, but inside I was destroyed yet thought I couldn’t show this wound in front of my friends and family. It took a long time for me to realize how deep this pain was and that I had to surrender to it and accept it in order to be reborn as a different person. The grief of losing a family member, especially one’s child, is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. (Location 2354)

When I moved back to Rio, I made one vow to myself: after years of paying private-school tuitions, mortgages, and car payments, I would now always make more money than I spent. It sounds basic, but it isn’t in a world based on easy credit. If you make $1 million a month but spend $1.2 million, you’ll never get your head above water. Even more important, if you base your life around money, it’s easy to corner yourself. Say you want to live in Malibu, you’ll need at least $3 million for a house, and that’s just the beginning. Soon you’ll want a Porsche, because all the neighbors have them. Then you’ll want your kids to go to the best private school, because that’s where their friends go. As your expectations continue to rise, slowly but surely, the things you own will own you. In a few years, you won’t need to make $5 million a year; you’ll need to make $10 million. When money becomes more important than happiness, your life passes you by, because you can’t lower your guard and enjoy yourself. Money is a tricky thing: it can bring you freedom and happiness, but it can also bring pain and anxiety. I was now determined to find a healthy balance. (Location 2490)

When the producer said “Go!” I thought to myself, Cut my foot off and take it home, motherfucker! Take it, motherfucker! Take it! Before I knew it, a bell rang, and the thirty seconds were up. The doctor was impressed and began doubting that he got the right pressure point because I didn’t make a single sound. When he asked me how I did it, I told him that I focused as if I was in a fight, because I would never quit in a fight. I said, “With all due respect, I didn’t see you as a doctor. I saw you as my opponent in a fight. I was expecting pain and defeated the pain with my mind-set.” Afterward, I went to stand up and could barely walk to the elevator. The mind has incredible potential, but you have to dig deep to discover it. I can resist any physical pain if there is a reason. This is the heritage of my martial arts training and fighting, but now it is part of my soul. (Location 2678)